Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Randomize