my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize