oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
