Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
