A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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