I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
