you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
