he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
