He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
barbara walters just said penis...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
