Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
