hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
