I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
