maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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