There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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