his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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