If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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