The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
organizing the empties. That sober.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
