bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
