What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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