somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
