That's when you crack a 10am beer
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
