Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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