some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
