My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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