Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My underwear smells like fireworks.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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