she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
