I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
