She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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