btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
