Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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