Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
