I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
