I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
