don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
