you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize