..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
