I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
