I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
