the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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