so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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