Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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