She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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