Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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