I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
