Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
