I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize