god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
