She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
