Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
