The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
