I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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