what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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