You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
