dude i'm inner monologue high
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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