She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
