wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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