You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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