Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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